Nobody sits down on a Monday and decides what their team will be allowed to get away with. Which is a problem, because your team is operating to a set of standards right now, and not one of them is the standard you would have written. Something happens, you are busy, you let it go. Then it happens again, and what you do the second time becomes the rule. Here is how to see what you have already agreed to, and why you cannot simply start enforcing it tomorrow.

Your best person is still here. That is not the same as still having them. There is a moment when a high performer works out that the standard they hold themselves to is not the one anybody else is being held to. Most people assume the risk is that they leave. The more common outcome is quieter and more costly. They stay, and they ramp down to the level everyone else is getting away with. One question tells you whether it has already happened.

Every one of Covey's 13 trust behaviours has a forgery. Not an opposite — a forgery, which is far more dangerous, because an opposite is easy to spot. Here's what your best behaviour turns into when you're under load, and why you're the last person who'll notice.

Four behavioural styles, explained through a football club that shouldn't work and does. Roy, Keeley, Ted and Nate, and what each one costs a team when the pressure comes on.

Work out what a minute of you costs and you will start treating every interruption as theft. That instinct is the most expensive one you have. Cost is fixed. Yield is not.

If you have been avoiding holding a coaching or performance conversation, then grab a coffee and enjoy this week's blog. One of the most powerful motivators at work is to feel that you are progressing and contributing to meaningful work. What separates highly effective leaders from average ones is their recognition of the power of coaching. So build our confidence and lead well!

Should you get a coach or a mentor? The honest answer is neither, on its own. Six seats you should be filling, one question that tells you which kind of help you actually need, and why the adviser who agrees with you is the least useful one you have.

It is not only salary that affects happiness. If you are working more than sixty hours a week and cannot connect with why you are doing the work, you are likely to be unproductive and unhappy. People paid handsomely to do meaningless work do not stay. So if money is not the driver, what is? Four things to focus on, none of which involve a pay rise.

Somewhere in your organisation there is a plan with your name on it. You have read it once. You could not recite it now. Most leaders carry two plans: the one they wrote and the one they run. Only one of them was ever designed, and it was not the one that decides what happens on Tuesday. How to edit a plan until it is yours, what has to survive the edit, and the three rhythms that stop it going quiet.

Find your team's plan and work out when somebody last looked at it. For most teams the answer sits between six weeks ago and never, and the plan itself is rarely the problem. Nobody abandoned it. It stopped being mentioned, and then it stopped being true. Here is the two-question test that tells you which of four states your plan is in, and the three habits that bring it back.

Think about the last month. Who got the most of your attention? It was almost certainly the person causing you the most trouble. Now think about your best person. How much time did they get? Most leaders spend the bulk of their attention on the bottom of the team and almost none on the top, which means the person who most repays it receives the least. Quint Studer's model says start at the top, and the order does the work.

Feedback is a gift. It says so on a poster somewhere in your building. So why does almost everybody flinch when they hear the word? Because most of what arrives labelled as a gift is an elephant: large, unasked for, impossible to return. A gift is chosen for the person receiving it. An elephant is chosen for the person giving it. One question, asked before you open your mouth, tells you which one you are holding.

Twice I have stood at a bend in the road and taken the one less travelled. The first was Black Monday, 1987, which ended a career in stockbroking before it started. The second was a Thursday in March 1996, when I was 29 and three things happened in the same week. I started a business because I thought I was unemployable. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I have made.

You said yes again on Tuesday. Not because you had capacity, but because the person asking outranked you, or because saying no would have taken a longer conversation than doing the work. Most advice about saying no is written for people who can. Saying no to your manager, your peer and your own team member are three different conversations, and only one of them is about the word no. The Three Directions, and what is actually available to you in each.

Not everyone was raised in the same household, and that's exactly why team behaviour drifts. Here are the conversations worth having before it does.